I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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