Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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