I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize