Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
