I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
