i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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