just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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