just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
