I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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