It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
