Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
