she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
