I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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