Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
