had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
