So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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