brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
