so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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