I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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