The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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