I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
