I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
