is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize