why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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