How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
