we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
