I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
