she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i came on her dog
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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