I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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