All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize