Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
