I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
