If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
and you fell through a lawn chair
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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