tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What a dumb baby whore.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
