i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
