i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
