Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
