When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
