he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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