Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
