they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
