ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
