You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
