So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
