I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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