he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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