toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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