i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize