yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
one might say we're banned from that church
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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