? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
