just come out here and I will go home with you...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
