Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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