I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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