Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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