so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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