I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
