THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
did i just pee glitter
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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