i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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