I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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