Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
