I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
