I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I need to sanitize my soul.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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