I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
