you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
