READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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