You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
