And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
