He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
