nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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