Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize