oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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