He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize