he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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