Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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