You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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