:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
